International Day for Elimination of Violence Against Women
“An average of 24 people per minute are victims of rape, physical violence or stalking by an intimate partner in the United States — more than 12 million women and men over the course of a single year.”
“From 1994 to 2010, approximately 4 in 5 victims of intimate partner violence were female.”
“Most female victims of intimate partner violence were previously victimized by the same offender at rates of 77% for women ages 18 to 24, 76% for ages 25 to 34, and 81% for ages 35 to 49.”
“Nearly 1 in 5 women (18.3%) and 1 in 71 men (1.4%) have been raped in their lifetime.”
“1 in 6 women (16.2%) and 1 in 19 men (5.2%) in the US have been a victim of stalking at some point during their lifetime in which they felt fearful or believed that they (or someone close to them) would be harmed or killed.”
“Approximately 35% of women who were raped as minors were also raped as adults, compared to 14% of women without an early rape history.”
“58% of college students say they don’t know what to do to help someone who is a victim of dating abuse.”
“Survivors are 6 times more likely to have a substance use disorder, 3 times more likely to meet the criteria for PTSD, and 3 times more likely to engage in self-harming behaviors.”
“The presence of a gun in domestic violence situations increases the risk of homicide for women by 500%. More than half of women killed by gun violence are killed by family members or intimate partners.”
“Domestic violence issues lead to nearly 8 million lost days of paid work each year, the equivalent of over 32,000 full-time jobs.”
“Over 70% of US workplaces don’t have a formal program or policy to address workplace violence.”
Nearly 3 in 10 women in the US have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by a partner and the other 7 have lived in fear of it.
November 25th is the International Day for Elimination of Violence Against Women. The statistics above represent the influence of physical, verbal, psychological, technological, and sexual abuse of all people, but substantially, women. This day is not to feel sorry or take pity on women who have experienced such horrors, but rather to be a stark reminder of the prudence needed to address and eliminate the macabre that occurs behind closed doors 24 times, to 24 people every 60 seconds.
Why do people stay?
Leaving an abusive relationship is not as easy as just walking away. Abuse is mainly about power and control and abusive partners take those two qualities away from their victims' lives. As a result, when the victim tries to leave the relationship, it will set off the abuser, making ‘leaving’ the most dangerous time period for the victim. There are many other reasons people stay such as fear, normalized abuse, shame, intimidation, low self-esteem, lack of resources, disability, immigration status, cultural context, children, and love. While some of these reasons still may seem confusing or easy to brush away, it is often a large struggle between the victims mind, heart, and brain. Their heart may tell them to “stay because you love them”, but your brain will say “leave, they hurt you, love does not result in pain”, and their mind might question “do I deserve this hurt? Is this what love should feel like?” Or, it might be more like their heart saying “get away from them, they are hurting you physically and emotionally”, their brain saying “but you can’t leave, they provide you with a home, and money, and food”, and their mind thinking about their children, their pet, their expectations, and more. It is important to know and to remember that every situation is different, every situation is severe, you probably don’t know or understand what they're going through, and they do need help.
How can I help?
Emotional Support:
Emotional and mental support can go a long way. Long-term effects of abuse usually mess with the victims mind as a result of the manipulation and torture they endured. Simply acknowledging their feelings about the situation and being supportive as opposed to judgmental is very important. Keep in mind that you are not there to ‘rescue them’, you are there to support them and help reinforce the control and power they have over their own life. Even refraining from not talking poorly about the abuser in some situations can help. Continual support through the whole situation, helping them create a safety plan, and offering to go with them to a service or legal provider for moral support are also great ways to help and support.
Material Support:
In addition to emotional support, material support is extremely helpful to aid the victim in not only leaving the abusive relationship, but also to help them start a new life without abuse. Helping them identify a support network to assist them and helping them store important documents are beneficial for basic fundamentals such as housing, food, healthcare, mobility, and court if chosen. Encouraging them to participate in fun activities with you, their family, and their friends, and encouraging them to talk openly to a hotline or mental health professionals will help them on their healing journey. Refraining from sharing their story on social media platforms or family members/close friends unless they ask or share their own story. Lastly, helping them learn about their legal rights will greatly support them and will also help you learn more about abuse and how it operates legally and lawfully. It is better to be concerned about nothing than it is to ignore something.
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